Me: Joins tumblr for fun
Me: starts to critically analyze almost every aspect of modern society
*cringes at 9 year old me*
*cringes at 13 year old me*
*cringes at year ago me*
*cringes at day ago me*
*cringes at future me*
We teach kids to fear animals like rats, snakes, spiders, etc. that are harmless 99% of the time but do we ever warn them about the real danger
WHY DOES IT HAVE TEETH ON ITS TONGUE
I am a gooseologist and I can tell you that geese live on a healthy diet of children’s souls which can only be properly chewed with unholy tongue teeth
"what are your plans for the future" *shrugs so hard that my arms detach at the shoulders and i am no longer asked any questions that arent about my missing limbs*
when you’re singing really loud while nobody’s around and you’re doin pretty well and then all of a sudden your voice cracks or you hit a note way off key and you just embarrass yourself that’s literally the worst because you’re not even around anyone else you’re just a disgrace to your own ears
i want to sit next to rihanna at an award show you know she talkin mad shit about everyone
if you want a nice body, go get it. if you want to become a lawyer, study your ass off. if you want nice hair, pick a style and get it done. stop being afraid and motivate yourself. find yourself. find your happiness, because it’s out there waiting for you.
I look like an extremely professional fashionable woman in an Abaya. It probably took me AGES to look this professional right?
WRONG. I’m actually wearing my onesie underneath it and you will NEVER KNOW MWAHAHAHA
Wanna know another secret? Even though i LOOK like I’m paying attention to whatever nonsense you are saying…..
I AM ACTUALLY WEARING HEADPHONES AND LISTENING TO MUSIC
THIS IS TOO MUCH POWER FOR ONE PERSON TO HAVE
Michael Jackson tells Bubbles the chimp in sign language to sit the fuck down and stop stealing sips of his tea.
That’s the most gangsta thing I’ve ever seen.